Judge used his retirement speech to confess that he drew rude graffiti on an official court computer #CAP

judge used his retirement speech to confess that he drew rude graffiti on an official court computer, leading to all staff having their pens confiscated. 

Neil Ford QC, who has worked at Bristol Crown Court for eight years, revealed he once doodled a "very large phallus" on an old computer messaging system, which used pens instead of a mouse to draw on the screen. 
The 63-year-old admitted the doodle was sent to all staff members, who later had their pens confiscated. 
In his speech, Judge Ford spoke about a number of occasions when he had tried to prank colleagues including a time when he filled an associates' bag with small bottles of gin on the train back from a trial in Reading. 
Judge Ford also reflected on his career, recalling an occasion when he had a 32-year sentence upgraded to 40 years as it was "too lenient" and one time where he gave a "ghastly man" a 13-year sentence, only to have his sentence downgraded to 12 years.
He also revealed that he had a countdown clock on his phone tracking the days left until his retirement, and he has seen a psychologist to help deal with the "sense of loss".
To fill the hours, he has signed up for a photography course with fellow retired Judge Michael Roach, and plans to ski, fish and travel in his free time.
He described his successor, Judge Peter Blair QC, as suave, talented and athletic, and handed him the 'Bursell Box' which each new Recorder inherits.
Judge Ford said: "He is to Bristol what Donald Trump is to Washington. He can't wait to don the bright red gown." Finally, at the end of the speech, he used a swearing fist to signify his last "out of office" reply. 
The ceremony on Friday also celebrated the judge's skill as a "formidable advocate".
Barrister Richard Smith QC told the assembly: "We will miss you, Neil Ford. You have been an influential part of Bristol and the Western circuit for more than 40 years."

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